Coupling, Series Three

Jeff:
[Jeff is wearing a leather mask] We were just spending a quiet evening in front of the television. In the course of events I swallowed some of her jewellery.

Steve:
You what?

Jeff:
There was a swallowage incident. I swallowed an item.

Steve:
Right?

Jeff:
Now normally when I swallow some of Julia's jewellery...

Steve:
No, no, Jeff please. "Normally"... has never been used in the sentence before.

Jeff:
Well, you know what it's like when you've got your own actual real-life girlfriend. It's like you got a woman with a nudity switch. Sometimes when she's laying there and she's just so, so totally naked, I can't control myself. I just sort of hoover.

Steve:
OK.

Jeff:
Obviously now and then in the course of any nudity hoovering, you're gonna ingest an item. Now normally, I remain calm, let nature take its course, and in due time slip the relevant item back into her jewellery box.

Steve:
I see.

Jeff:
Not directly, of course.

Steve:
I was clinging to that hope.