Curb Your Enthusiasm, Season 1

Larry:
You try to do something nice, see what happens?

Jeff:
You get screwed.

Larry:
You do one nice thing in your life. I assume it's the first nice thing you've ever done in your life.

Jeff:
You're so complimentary.

Larry:
It would put you one up on me, if that's the case. Although, I did, once, try and stop a woman who was about to get hit by a car. I screamed out "Watch out!" and she said "Don't you tell me what to do!"

Jeff:
And that's all it took to for you to stop helping people?

Larry:
I got out of the "nice" business at that point.