Dead Like Me, Season 1

(Daisy goes to the Point Grey Club to find her reap and stops at a table where she meets Mary Kate Hourihan.)

M. K. Hourihan:
[To waiter] We'll have that dessert now, I think.

Daisy:
[To M. K.'s friend]: I'm so sorry to interrupt. That scarf is absolutely beautiful. Where did you get it, if you don't mind me asking?

Joyce:
It was a gift. My husband bought it for me in San Francisco.

Daisy:
So flattering.

Mary Kate:
As are you. What's your name, dear?

Daisy:
Daisy Adair.

Joyce:
Do we know any Adairs?

Mary Kate:
Shawn Adair. But I don't think you're related to him. You're much too fresh and lovely and he is a little oily. Lebanese, I think. Anyway, uh, where were you raised, Daisy?

Daisy:
I am one of the Greenwich Adairs.

Joyce:
Greenwich, Connecticut?

Daisy:
Is there any other?

[All laugh.]

Joyce:
I'm Joyce, and this is Sylvia...

Sylvia:
Hello.

Joyce:
... Jane and Mary Kate.

Daisy:
So nice to meet you all.

[A dessert trolley comes along their table and they all gasp.]

Joyce:
Ah! Bananas Foster. My favorite.

Mary Kate:
Joyce is turning 30. For the 31st year in a row.

Joyce:
Are you married, Daisy? I have a son.

Daisy:
I'm single, but I'm not really in the market. (Laughs)

Mary Kate:
Are you a lesbian? Sylvia has a daughter. (The waiter lights the dessert.) Oh, how exciting.

[Sylvia starts choking.]

Joyce:
That dessert is so evil. 800,000 calories a bite.

Mary Kate:
Oh please, it's not like it's going to kill you.

Daisy:
I believe your friend is choking on a sugar cookie.

Mary Kate:
Oh, my gosh.

[Joyce tries to help Sylvia and Daisy takes Mary Kate's soul. The waiter comes over to do the Heimlich and the cookie shoots out of her mouth onto Mary Kate. She throws her arms back only to catch herself on fire. Everyone gasps.]

Joyce:
Shit. Mary Kate's on fire.

[Sylvia throws her drink on Mary Kate, causing the flames to spread]

Sylvia:
Ohh! My coffee was Irish!