Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23, Season 2

Chloe:
[as she and James come back home] Good thing your face was so oily tonight, I could check my makeup in your forehead.

James:
I wish you had, you look like a runner-up at a child's beauty pageant in Ohio.

Chloe:
You look like you just got back from the Douchie Awards and you won five Douchies.

James:
Only award you could ever win is for letting rappers touch you.

June:
I don't get how you guys talk to each other like that, it's so mean. Especially before bedtime.

James:
It's not mean. It's just us.

Chloe:
And what I don't get is what the hell you're wearing.

June:
Oh, they're my Midwest breakfast pajamas. I've had them since high school.

Chloe:
[turns to James] When I was in high school, you were a grown man pretending to be in high school on TV.

James:
Watching me pretend to be in high school on TV was as close to high school as you ever got.