Everwood, Season One

Andy:
Are you drunk?

Ephram:
Not enough, but hey...we can fix that. Toss me a Heineken!

Andy:
You think this is funny? It's bad enough that you're drunk, and don't think we're not gonna talk about that, but you had to pick this weekend to become a teenager? You haven't been to a party since we've been here and now, all of a sudden, you're getting plastered and arrested? If you wanted to embarrass me in front of your grandparents, you're doing one hell of a job.

Ephram:
Oh, right...I forgot. this is all about you. I got myself arrested, just to make you feel bad about yourself.

Andy:
That's not what I meant, and you know it.

Ephram:
[Sarcastically] Hey, look at me...I'm super dad. Let's fish and make waffles. I've got news for you, they're not buying it. But don't worry...If you promise to raise my allowance, I'll promise to give you a hug...right in front of Grandpa.