Friends, Season 9

Phoebe:
Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at your restaurant! [Showcases a top hat and hand-held glasses] This might class up 'The Ballad of the Uncircumcised Man'!

Monica:
Phoebe, maybe I wasn't clear before...I love listening to your music here, but my restaurant is an upscale place!

Phoebe:
I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault!

Monica:
It's not what you wear, it's your songs! I don't think you should play at the restaurant anymore!

Phoebe:
[disappointed] Oh...OK. I'll take the hat back. [puts the hat back in the bag and stamps on it]

Rachel:
[After a pause] So...the funniest thing happened at work...

Phoebe:
[Interrupting, to Monica] My songs aren't good enough for your restaurant?!

Rachel:
We're still on that!

Monica:
I didn't say that!

Phoebe:
Then what's wrong with them? They don't go with your tiny portions of pretentious food?

Monica:
Tiny portions?!

Phoebe:
"Excuse me, I ordered the smoked salmon appetizer, but [Wears the glasses] I cahn't see it! I cahn't see it!"

Monica:
It's not about quantity!

Phoebe:
It's not about quality!

Monica:
You want to talk quality? Ever heard of a key?! It's what some people sing in!!

Phoebe:
At least my songs don't taste like garlic! [Monica opens her mouth] There are other ingredients!

Monica:
So that's what we're doing?! When I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing earplugs!

Phoebe:
Earplugs, or cloves of garlic?

Monica:
[Gets up abruptly] I take back what I said before! You keep playing, because with your music driving people inside, my bar sales have gone up like crazy!

Phoebe:
What are they having? The GARLIC MARTINI?!