Game of Thrones, Season 4

Tyrion Lannister:
I imagined you'd be back at the brothel at this hour.

Oberyn Martell:
I did spend some time with an absolutely stunning blonde the other day.

Tyrion Lannister:
Mm, do tell. I've got every kind of filth down here except the kind I like.

Oberyn Martell:
Your sister. Cersei approached me. We spoke a great deal about her daughter. How worried your sister is about her. She was trying very hard to pretend she had not come to sway me against you. I think she may have even believed it herself.

Tyrion Lannister:
Making honest feelings do dishonest work is one of her many gifts.

Oberyn Martell:
It was difficult for her to hide her true intentions. It is rare to meet a Lannister who shares my enthusiasm for dead Lannisters. She desperately wants to see you killed.

Tyrion Lannister:
She didn't need to bother you. It looks as though I've taken care of that myself. The joy she will feel when my head leaves my neck. She's wanted this for a long time.

Oberyn Martell:
Yes, I know. We met, you and I. Many years ago.

Tyrion Lannister:
I think I would have remembered that.

Oberyn Martell:
Unlikely. You had just been born. Our father brought me and my sister Elia with him on a visit to Casterly Rock. My first time away from Dorne. I didn't like anything about the Rock. Not the food, not the weather, not your accents. Nothing. But the biggest disappointment... you.

Tyrion Lannister:
You and my family have more in common than you might admit.

Oberyn Martell:
The whole way from Dorne all anyone talked about was the monster that had been born to Tywin Lannister. A head twice the size of his body, a tail between his legs, claws, one red eye, the privates of both a girl and a boy.

Tyrion Lannister:
That would have made things so much easier.

Oberyn Martell:
When we met your sister, she promised she would show you to us. Every day we would ask. Every day she would say, "Soon." Then she and your brother took us to your nursery and... she unveiled the freak. Your head was a bit large. Your arms and legs were a bit small, but no claw. No red eye. No tail between your legs. Just a tiny pink cock. We didn't try to hide our disappointment. "That's not a monster," I told Cersei. "That's just a baby." And she said, "He killed my mother." And she pinched your little cock so hard, I thought she might pull it off. Until your brother made her stop. "It doesn't matter," she told us. "Everyone says he will die soon. I hope they are right. He should not have lived this long."

Tyrion Lannister:
[holding back tears] Well... sooner or later, Cersei always gets what she wants.

Oberyn Martell:
And what about what I want? Justice for my sister and her children.

Tyrion Lannister:
If you want justice, you've come to the wrong place.

Oberyn Martell:
I disagree. I've come to the perfect place. I want to bring those who have wronged me to justice. And all those who have wronged me are right here. I will begin with Ser Gregor Clegane, who killed my sister's children and then raped her with their blood still on his hands before killing her, too. I will be your champion. [Tyrion begins shaking with relief that someone will finally stand for him]