The Golden Girls, Season 1

Rose:
I can't tell her her husband died in my bed.

Sophia:
Tell her you went to turn on the sprinklers, and you found him on the lawn.

Rose:
That's not bad...

Dorothy:
Oh, Rose.

Rose:
Well, I've never had to do this before! Tell a wife that her husband's been cheating on her with me! That's the hardest thing ever to have to tell anybody.

Blanche:
Oh, no, it's not! How about having to tell a pregnant woman that her husband's been cheating on her...with her own sister...and you're the sister...and you're pregnant too. By her husband.

Dorothy:
You didn't!

Blanche:
Not me! Last night on Dallas! Or Dynasty or Falcon's Landing, or one of those, they're all the same.

Rose:
Oh! I thought you were the one-

Blanche:
Oh please! I could never do a thing like that. And if you ever saw my brother-in-law, you'd know why!