The Golden Girls, Season 3

Dorothy:
Girls, I have some bad news. I am not going to be able to go with you [to the funeral].

Rose:
Why not?

Dorothy:
It's Ma. She's sick. I'm going to have to take her to the hospital.

Blanche:
Oh, Doro-... wait a minute! She - she left for that cooking contest about ten minutes ago!

Dorothy:
She called. She had a bad cannoli when she got there. Right now she is doubled over with cramps, crying out with pain and... [Sophia enters the house, looking perfectly healthy]... making the most spectacular comeback since Dennis Hopper!

Rose:
Are you all right, Sophia?

Sophia:
Of course I'm all right. It's just that halfway to the contest, I realized I forgot the wine.

Rose:
For your mussels marinara?

Sophia:
No, for me. I always drink wine during cooking contests and My Sister Sam.

Rose:
Dorothy, Sophia's not sick! She didn't eat a bad cannoli! So whoever called and said that was just making the whole thing up.