The Golden Girls, Season 3

Man:
[in a flashback scene, responding to a personal ad of Dorothy's that Rose put in the newspaper] Dorothy?

Dorothy:
Have we met?

Man:
Not yet. I'm here because of your ad in the paper, "Willing to do anything - $8 an hour, no job too big or small."

Dorothy:
Yes, yes, of course, please come in. I'm sorry, I didn't expect people to actually come here, I just figured, you know, that I would be going to them.

Man:
That's the way it'll work in the future, when my video camera gets back from the shop.

Dorothy:
So tell me, what kind of work is it that you need done, Mr.---

Man:
Toto.

Dorothy:
---Mr. Toto?

Man:
Oh, no "Mr.," just "Toto." You're Dorothy, and I'm Toto. At least for the next eight dollars.

Rose:
Dorothy, you owe me an apology; your ad's right here. [points to newspaper]

Dorothy:
Oh Rose, this is the Personals column!

Rose:
So what?

Dorothy:
So what? You put an ad in the personals column that said I will do anything for eight dollars an hour?! Right under an ad that reads, "History professor seeking non-smoking Oriental woman who is into Wesson Oil and bears a resemblance to Florence Henderson."

Man:
Is that signed "Doug"?

Dorothy:
Yes.

Man:
I know him; he's a sick man.

Dorothy:
[showing her visitor to the door] I'm terribly sorry for this mixup; goodbye.

[The man leaves, and a priest then walks up to the open door]

Dorothy:
Oh my GOD, I don't believe this! I'm going to call the cops if you don't get out of here right away, you PERVERT!

Sophia:
[walks up carrying a large box and hands it to the bewildered-looking priest] Hi, Father Rossi! Here's the canned goods for the needy!

Dorothy:
[mortified] Oh, no... [to Father Rossi] I'm terribly sorry. I promise that I will say Hail Marys until Madonna has a hit movie.

[Another man enters through the open door after the priest leaves and walks up to Rose]

Man #2:
[to Rose] Hi! Here's my eight dollars! Let's get started, Dorothy!

Rose:
Oh, I'm not Dorothy; she is.

Man #2:
[to Dorothy] I'll give you four dollars. Let's get started.

Dorothy:
How would you like your rear end kicked across the street?!!

Man #2:
Oh, great! Here's the other four dollars!

[Dorothy throws Man #2 out of the house. Enter Blanche]

Blanche:
Girls! Girls! There's a busload of Greek sailors out front! They want to know how many drachma there are in eight dollars!