The Golden Girls, Season 7

Rose:
[in a flashback scene] This is a nice place. Do you come here a lot?

John:
Oh, no, not really. I don't have much of a social life.

Woman:
[approaching table] So, this is where you bring your cheap fake-blonde floozies! John, you disgust me; and as far as I'm concerned, we're through. [storms off]

Rose:
Who was that?

John:
My sister. I recommend the Poulet Véronique.

Rose:
John, I have a rule; if I can't pronounce it, I don't put it in my mouth. Say, do they have gugenfrøtter?

Pregnant Woman:
[to John] Alan! Alan, please, talk to me! You haven't answered my calls, you don't answer my letters, Alan, please, what can I say? What can I do to get you back?

Rose:
"Alan"?

John:
Nickname. [to pregnant woman] Susan, Susan, please, this is not the time or the place!

Susan:
It's me, isn't it! I've driven you away. What if I dyed my hair? [looks at Rose] I'd even dye it that color! If they still make that color.

John:
Susan, it's over and you have to accept that; and a word of warning: I haven't graded your final exam yet. [Susan leaves; to Rose:] So, shall we order separate entrees and share?

Rose:
Hold it! Who was that?

John:
Okay, okay, so I've had a couple of bad relationships with women, that's not so unusual. Now, where is our waiter? ... Oh, waiter!

Male Waiter:
[to John] Well, well, Peter! We just swing the way the wind blows, don't we? [looking at Rose] And who's this, Glinda the Good Witch of the North? You disgust me! After the way you've treated me I should scratch your eyes out! [voice breaks] Call me!

John:
Poker buddy.

Rose:
You know, I don't think this dinner was such a good idea.

John:
Now Rose, please don't leap to conclusions.

Rose:
I'm sorry, John, but I think I'll just catch a cab---

John:
Rose, you're hurting my feelings. Believe me, this is not what it seems! John Patrick Anderson is a regular guy!

Police Officer:
[to John] Shlomo Ziegler?

John:
Yes?

Police Officer:
[handcuffing John] You're under arrest! Your days as the Freeway Flasher are over!

John:
I know what you're thinking, Rose, but you're wrong, and if I can make bail I'd love to see you tomorrow night.

Rose:
I don't think so.

John:
May I call you? I get one phone call... [the police haul him away]

Rose:
Man!

Male Waiter:
[to Rose] I think we both need a hug!