The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, TV Series

Number Three:
Captain?

Captain:
Yes, Number Three?

Number Three:
I've just had a sort of report thingy from Number One.

Captain:
Oh, dear.

Number Three:
He was shouting something or other about having found some prisoners.

Captain:
Oh, well, perhaps it'll keep him happy for a bit. He's always wanted some.

Number One:
[entering the Captain's room with Ford and Arthur] Captain, sir!

Captain:
Oh, hello, Number One! Having a nice day?

Number One:
I've brought you the prisoners I located in Freezer bay 7, sir.

Ford and Arthur:
Hi.

Captain:
Hello. Excuse me not getting up, just having a quick bath. Oh, well. Gin and Tonics all round! Look in the fridge there, Number Three.

Number Three:
Certainly, sir.

Number One:
Don't you want to interrogate the prisoners, sir?

Captain:
Why on Golgafrincham should I want to do that?

Number One:
To get information out of them, sir. Find out why they came here, sir.

Captain:
No, no, I expect they just dropped in for a quick Gin and Tonic, don't you?

Number One:
Sir, they're my prisoners. Can't I just interrogate them a little bit?

Captain:
Oh, very well. Ask them what they want to drink.

Number One:
Thank you, sir. Alright. [grabs Ford's collar] You scum! You vermin!

Captain:
Steady on, Number One!

Number One:
What do you want to drink?

Ford:
Well, Gin and Tonic sounds very nice to me. Arthur?

Arthur:
Hmm? Yes.

Number One:
With ice? Or without?

Ford:
[thinks for a second] With, please.

Number One:
Lemon?

Ford:
Umm, yeah. Oh, and do you have any of those little biscuits? You know, the cheesy ones?

Number One:
I'm asking the questions!

Captain:
Number One. Push off, will you, there's a good fellow. I'm trying to take a relaxing bath! [blows into his bubble pipe]

Number One:
May I respectfully remind you that you've now been in that bath for over three years.

Captain:
Yes, well, one needs to relax a lot in a job like mine.