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How I Met Your Mother, Season 3

How I Met Your Mother (2005-2014) is an American sitcom, which aired Mondays at 8:00 pm on CBS. The series is narrated through flashbacks from the future, in which an older version of the main character, Ted Mosby, tells his two children the story o… more »

Ted:
So I just got off the phone with Kathy. God, you guys are so right. I totally hear it now. ...See it now? ...Smell it? What is it? I left the table for two minutes. What could she possibly have done in that time that was so horrible? Was it -

[flashback to restaurant]

Ted:
I'll be back in one second.

Kathy:
One time, in tenth grade, as a joke, I told everyone that my English teacher had sex with me. He's still in jail.

Ted:
Or maybe...

[flashback to restaurant]

Ted:
I'll be back in a second.

Kathy:
So I volunteered at the pound.

Lily:
Oh isn't that nice!

Kathy:
You can't imagine the rush you get from killing an unwanted puppy. I make bracelets out of the collars. [shows her bracelet]

Ted:
Or...

[flashback to restaurant]

Ted:
I'll be back in one second.

Kathy:
I bet he's going to the urinal. Yeah, I remember when I had a penis.

[Barney spits out his water]

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