How I Met Your Mother, Season 5

[Marshall just linked up with Ted and Barney at MacLaren's]

Ted:
[to Marshall] Barney says Lily asking you to wash the dishes is a sign that your marriage is crumbling.

Marshall:
What? Why? Lily likes a clean sink. I do the dishes right away, so what's the big deal?

Barney:
I'll tell you what the big deal is. You know how I have always been best at being single?

Ted and Marshall:
No.

Barney:
Well, now, I am the best at relationships. Even better than you and Lily.

Marshall:
Whoa, look at you. Had a girlfriend for five minutes and think you can play with the big boys? Adorable. Son, I've been in a relationship since you had a ponytail and were playing Dave Matthews on your mama's Casio. I'm a good boyfriend in my sleep. I can rock a killer foot rub with one hand and brew a kick-ass pot of chamomile that will make you weep. Hell, I've forgotten more about microwaving fat-free popcorn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than you'll ever know, but...thanks for your concern, rook.