Angel, Season 1

[Angel has just saved Rachel from a violently abusive boyfriend, while Spike watches - and narrates - from the rooftop.]

Spike [as Rachel, falsetto]:
How can I thank you, you mysterious, black-clad, hunk of a night thing?

Spike [as Angel, basso]:
No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a bad-ass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. [Rachel sways closer to Angel; he steps back, warding her off with his hands.] No, not the hair! Never the hair!

Spike [as Rachel]:
But there must be some way I can show my appreciation.

Spike [as Angel]:
No, helping those in need's my job. And working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough!

Spike [as Rachel]:
I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so...

Spike [as Angel]:
Ah. Say no more. Evil's still afoot ... and I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair gel that I like so much. Quickly! To the Angelmobile - AWAY! [Rachel and Angel leave. Spike lights a cigarette.]

Spike [as Spike]:
Go on, Liam. Play the big, strapping hero while you can. You have a few surprises coming your way-the Ring of Amarra, a visit from your old pal Spike, and-oh, yeah-your gruesome, horrible death.