Angel, Season 1

[Cordelia enters the office after her audition.]

Angel:
Hi. [she doesn't answer and he looks at her more closely] Everything okay? [in one smooth motion, she puts down her bag, reaches for him and kisses him] Hmm. Hmp. Mmghmm! [he puts his hands on her shoulders, gingerly pushing to get her off, trying not to offend her] Okay, uh... Cordelia, that was, uh... I, I think that you're acting out of grief, and you're confusing our... friendship... for something more...

Cordelia:
I didn't feel anything. Did you feel anything?

Angel:
No! You see, that's what I'm trying...

Cordelia:
Urgh! That means I still have it. Damn! I can't believe he did this to me.

Angel:
Who did what?

Cordelia:
Doyle! I thought our kiss meant something. Instead, he used that moment to pass it on to me. Why couldn't it be mono or herpes?

Angel:
[rubs his mouth] Cordelia...

Cordelia:
I didn't ask for this responsibility, unlike some people, who shall remain lifeless. I don't have anything to atone for. If they know what's good for them, the PTB better just stay out of my head.

Angel:
...Powers That Be... you had a vision?!

Cordelia:
Boy, howdy! And you know how they look painful? Well, they feel a whole lot worse.

Angel:
[sits as understanding washes through him] "Another door opens." You're my link to the Powers now.

Cordelia:
I am nobody's link to anybody. I lost control of my entire central nervous system getting that stupid vision. And I'm not certain, but I might have... drooled... a little in my audition, the first one I've had in weeks.

Angel:
What was it?

Cordelia:
Oh, uh, StainBeGone. It was a national, no less. They'll probably never call me again...

Angel:
[snapping fingers] The vision. What was the vision?

Cordelia:
Oh, who cares? It was a thing.

Angel:
A thing?

Cordelia:
An ugly, grey, blobby, thing. What difference does it make?

Angel:
The difference is, if you saw it in a vision, this could be an ugly, grey, blobby, dangerous thing.

Cordelia:
I don't care! I want it out of me. And if kissing is the only way to get rid of it, I will smooch every damn frog in this kingdom. [enter their current client, demon Barney, from the rest room, drying his hands]

Barney:
Sorry, I thought I heard voices...

Angel:
Uh, Barney, you remember my associate, Cor... [Cordelia kisses Barney] ...delia?

Cordelia:
[rubs her mouth] Well, maybe not every frog.

Barney:
Boy, I gotta say, I like the way you people treat your clients!