Law & Order, Season 11

Rabbi 1:
We offer no opinion on the sincerity of Mr. Becker's beliefs, or on who's entitled to try him where and for what. This is not up to us. All we can determine is whether the standard for conversion has been met. Without proof of a mikveh, we have to say it has not. Also, we see no evidence that, to this point, Eli Becker has been living what we could call a Jewish life style. Accordingly, Eli Becker is ruled not Jewish.

[Eli's father shouts in Hebrew and jumps out of his seat in fury]

Feldman:
Rabbis? Rabbis, can I be heard?

Rabbi 1:
Our ruling will be put into writing and made available to both sides by the end of the day.

Mr. Becker:
I had half my family die in the ovens! Who the hell are you to tell me that my son is not Jewish?!

Rabbi 1:
Sorry, Mr. Becker. This is not up to us.

Mr. Becker:
A stinking technicality! And these momzers'll hang him for it!

Rabbi 3:
The Talmud has no technicalities, Mr. Becker. Only laws.

Mr. Becker:
Drop dead!