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Malcolm in the Middle, Season 1

Malcolm in the Middle is an American sitcom shown on Fox from January 9, 2000 to May 14, 2006. The series was created by Linwood Boomer and starred Frankie Muniz as the titular character Malcolm. And is filmed by Satin City Regency Television and Fo… more »

Malcolm:
What do you mean he's only seven?!

Nurse:
What's not to understand? He just turned seven. I guess you were too busy beating people to notice!

Malcolm:
He CAN'T be seven. He's bigger than I am!

Nurse:
He's in second grade! [cleaning up Kevin] Look at all this blood...

Malcolm:
That's not blood, it's pizza sauce! Well that's blood, but...

[Caroline Miller enters the nurse's office]

Caroline:
Oh my God... OH MY GOD! What happened?

Kevin:
[bawling] I want my Teletubby!

Malcolm:
A doll?! You can't play with dolls if you're seven... WHY ARE YOU SEVEN?!

Caroline:
You beat up a seven-year-old?

Malcolm:
I didn't know!

Caroline:
Malcolm, I don't blame you. I put this squarely where it belongs... [close to tears] On me!

Malcolm:
[to camera] Oh, man. This is the most horrible thing I've ever done! [to Kevin] Kevin, I'm sorry!

Nurse:
I think you've done quite enough.

Kevin:
This is the worst birthday ever!

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