M*A*S*H, Season 5

(both drunk, under fire, in a foxhole)

Potter:
Fire that weapon!

Hawkeye:
Fire it? I don't even like looking at it!

Potter:
I said fire that weapon!

Hawkeye:
All right. [To the gun] You're fired! [To Potter] I did it as gently as I could.

Potter:
That was an order, Pierce.

Hawkeye:
(Snapping his fingers) Oh waiter, would you take this man's order, please?

Potter:
Fire the gun, Hawkeye.

Hawkeye:
Look Colonel, I'll heal their wounds, treat their wounds, bind their wounds, but I will not inflict their wounds.

Potter:
You can't just sit there.

Hawkeye:
I may be sitting on the outside but I'm running on the inside.

Potter:
You love life that little?

Hawkeye:
I hate GUNS that much.