The Mighty Boosh, Series 1

The Hitcher:
[singing] Trapped in a box by a cockney nutjob, have a cup of tea, have a cup of tea! I'm the Hitcher, let me put you in the picture, creeping in you room in the dead of night, with me solo polo vision!

Piper Twins:
That's right!

The Hitcher:
I'm a cockney geezer, watch me bleed ya! I knew the Ripper when he was just a nipper, I taught him how to slice, I cut him up a treat! Pound ya banana!

Piper Twins:
Two pound ya pear!

The Hitcher:
Pound ya banana!

Piper Twins:
Two pound ya pear!

The Hitcher:
Pound ya banana!

Piper Twins:
Two pound ya pear!

The Hitcher:
Fourteen shillings for your melons!

Piper Twins:
Oh yea! We're the Piper Twins! We're Jim and Jackie Piper! We cut through the night like a windscreen wip-ing you away, like raindrops, don't mess with the boys!

The Hitcher:
Shut yer noise! Coming in strong like a freakshow nightmare, dancing skeletons, white blue and yellow uns, moving through the shadows with the speed of a cat, and if you cross us, we'll cut ya!

Piper Twins:
And you ain't gonna like that!

The Hitcher:
I'm bad juju! I use voodoo if I chose to, to harness the forces of evil to abuse you! With power, a polo, an evil magnet, we're sucking out ya soul!

All:
And you ain't gonna like that!