Monk, Season 1

[Stottlemeyer arrives to arrest Dale for the murder, interrupting Dale's video-talk with another girl]

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Hello, Mr. Biederbeck.

Dale "The Whale" Biederbeck:
Captain. I really wish you would've called. I'm a little busy at the moment.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
I'm here to arrest you for the murder of Judge Kate Lavinio. [tosses Dale an envelope] That's a warrant. Duly sworn.

Dale "The Whale" Biederbeck:
[to the girl on TV] Sweetheart, I'm gonna have to call you back. [turns off the monitor] Doctor, will you call Howard Klein and tell him we're suing the city for malicious prosecution…again? [Stottlemeyer motions towards the French doors]

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
I have hired a local construction company to take out this door. We're gonna get a crane here and lower your fat ass down to the street.

Dale "The Whale" Biederbeck:
[laughs] A crane? Oh, that's rich. But would you mind explaining to me how I'm supposed to have killed the bitch? I can't leave this room, remember?

Captain Stottlemeyer:
Mr. Monk!

Dale "the Whale" Biederbeck:
Well, my, my, my. [Monk, Sharona, and a uniformed cop enter, carrying two chairs] It's the defective detective once more. Lay it on me, Einstein.

Monk:
These two chairs are from the judge's house. The killer stood on one of them when he turned off the smoke alarm. A girl in the neighborhood saw, quote, a very, very fat man standing on it. But there's something funny about the chair. It's not broken. [refers to the uniform] This is Sergeant Cargill from the 14th Precinct. Sergeant, how much do you weigh?

Sgt. Cargill:
265.

Monk:
Would you mind? [Cargill stands on top of the chair, which breaks under his weight] So, how could a very, very fat man have stood on it? There's only one explanation. He was a fat man, not a heavy man. Lieutenant? [Randy enters wearing Dr. Vezza's empathy suit] I visited your clinic today and borrowed one of your empathy suits. [Randy stands on the other chair, which does not break] Fat, but not heavy. I believe we have another warrant to serve.