Monk, Season 2

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
[noticing that the officers have all gathered around Sharona] Hey! Hey, guys. What is this, a high school dance? Give the girl some room. Let her breathe. [Sharona comes over] Come here. I want to talk to you. I understand that you are seeing Kenny Shale.

Sharona:
Oh, it's nothing serious.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Yes, it is. I wanna tell you something, Sharona. Your life is about to change. Everybody you know is gonna want a piece of you. You're not gonna know who to trust. Monk can't help you with this, all right?

Sharona:
Mmm-hmm.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
He's, he's brilliant, but he's Monk. He's lost in Monkland.

Sharona:
Mmm-hmm.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Now, I've been where you are. I've been in the spotlight. And, well here. I want you to take that. [hands Sharona a card]

Sharona:
What is it?

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
That's my cell phone number, okay? You call me 24/7 if you need anything. Yeah, I just don't want to see you get hurt.

Sharona:
Oh, thanks a lot. Thanks.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Yeah. Oh, I was thinking, um, maybe we could get together, do a double date kind of thing. Me and Karen, you and Kenny? I've always liked Kenny. Kenny, he's-he's a good guy. He's good people.

Sharona:
You called him a weasel!

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
No, I didn't.

Sharona:
Yeah, you did. Three weeks ago.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
I never said "weasel." I said he was a... "woof." Oh, yeah, I said "weasel." I called him a weasel, but you see, that's not a bad thing. I had a weasel. A weasel is a noble animal, all right? It's a term of endearment. [to a passing cop] Jerry! Hey, how are you doing, you weasel? Good to see you! [turns back to Sharona] See, I call everybody a weasel.