Monk, Season 4

Marty Eels:
So Captain, am I on the case, or what?

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Listen, I need to ask you a couple of questions.

Marty Eels:
Sure.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Where were you yesterday morning at eight o'clock?

Marty Eels:
You mean when the robbery was happening? Why? Because you can't keep up with me on a crime scene?

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Where were you, Marty?

Marty Eels:
[pouring them coffee] I was at the hospital. Saint Andrew's. They thought I had a concussion.

Lt. Disher:
What happened?

Marty Eels:
Well, it's kind of embarrassing. I got hit very hard by a client--hit me very hard. Yeah. I--I was supposed to follow his wife and take pictures. [hands them a file with photos of a terrified man and woman in bed]

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Whoa! She was cheating on him.

Marty Eels:
No, no. That's him. That's my client.

Natalie:
[incredulously] You burst in and took a picture of a man in bed with his own wife?

Marty Eels:
Yes I did. I made a mistake. I'm human! So the bottom line is that I was at the hospital when the jewelry thing was happening. You can call them.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
We will.

Marty Eels:
Why is it so hard for you to believe that I'm this good?

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Because, Marty, you were never this good before. In fact you sort of sucked.