Monk, Season 5

[Stottlemeyer and Disher are watching the actors playing them in a movie adaptation of "Mr. Monk and the Astronaut"]

Actor Playing Stottlemeyer:
[talking on prop cellphone] Uh look, I know he's a bit eccentric, but Adrian Monk is the best damn investigator I've ever had so you tell the mayor if he goes I go. [pauses] That's right. Lt. Disher! Lt. Disher, you got a minute? [A female Disher enters the room; the real Randy is embarrassed]

Actress Playing Disher:
[enters] Yes, Captain.

Actor Playing Stottlemeyer:
Uh, what the hell do I say? I got it. The victim, the victim just received a check for fifty thousand dollars. Pretty weird time to kill yourself. What do you think?

Actress Playing Disher:
I'll tell you what I think. I think the department doesn't appreciate you enough.

[gets closer to the Stottlemeyer actor]

Actor Playing Stottlemeyer:
Randy, what are you doing?

Actress Playing Disher:
I'm doing what you taught me to do, Captain: following my instincts.

[They start kissing; the real Stottlemeyer and Disher are mortified]

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
That never happened.

Lt. Disher:
Not even once.