Monk, Season 5

Dr. Jackman:
I think I have some good news. The optic nerves appear to be healing, and your pupils are starting to dilate. I'm cautiously optimistic. [Monk moans a little bit] Is that how he takes good news?

Natalie:
Yeah, it is.

Dr. Jackman:
Look, if you could just stick around for a bit, I'd like to show these to my colleagues. Be right back.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Thank you, Doctor. We'll be here.

Natalie:
Isn't that great? She sounded so hopeful!

Monk:
Hope. I hate hope's guts!

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Hey, what happened to all your confidence?

Monk:
I don't know, Leland. Maybe I dropped it when I was screaming for help ten inches off the ground! I'm so pathetic! I'm half the man I was, which was three-quarters of a man, so now I'm…

Lt. Disher:
Five-sixteenths of a man.

Monk:
Thank you, Randy.

Lt. Disher:
Oh, no, wait. Three-eighths of a man.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Hey, would you quit whining? The bad guy [Murdoch]'s on a slab downstairs, we get to go home. In my book, that's a good day.