Monk, Season 7

[Natalie prepares for her first lottery drawing]

Billy Logan:
Excuse me, new girl. New girl, you're off your mark.

Natalie:
My mark?

Billy Logan:
Yeah, the big X on the floor. Look where I'm pointing.

Stage Manager:
90 seconds!

Natalie:
90 seconds? Wait-wait, I never got a script! Excuse me, I never got a script!

Billy Logan:
There is no script. This is the lottery. For the love of God, if there was a script, we'd all be rich. [to himself] Amateurs... [walks away]

[Stan Lawrence approaches Stottlemeyer and Disher]

Stan Lawrence:
Captain, Lieutenant. How's the investigation going?

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Well, we're just getting started. We've spoken to the staff, the camera crew; everybody said they left the building after the show.

Stan Lawrence:
They usually do.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Well somebody was here. The girl didn't stab herself.

Stan Lawrence:
You wanted to know if Marissa received any fan mail. Some of them are very dicey, you know, personal. I put those on top.

Billy Logan:
I need quiet everybody! New girl, you're on, in 5, 4, 3, 2.... [The theme music starts up]

Natalie:
Good evening, people. Welcome to the Big Gold Rush Pick 6. I'm Natalie Teeger. Are you ready to play? [pause. Monk gives her a "get on with it" gesture] Then let's play, the lottery! And the first number is... [long pause. Billy Logan gestures to the button on the drum]

Billy Logan:
[whispering] Turn it on. [pause] Turn it on! [Natalie leans over, and presses the power button. She jumps, startled]

Natalie:
My god! [The numbers are drawn] And the first number is.... 25. My mother's birthday. The next number.... 52. 52... cards in a deck. The next number.... 7. The Seven Dwarves.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
[tears up some fan mail] Seven dwarves.

[The number 32 is drawn]

Natalie:
The next number.... 32. 32 teeth. [clicks her teeth]

[The number 10 is drawn]

Natalie:
10. My boss's absolute favorite number.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Aw crap!

Natalie:
Apparently not everybody's favorite. [the number 17 gets drawn] And the final number is 17, my daughter's age. [little wave] Hi Julie! [pause] Once again the winning numbers for today are 25, 52, 7, 32, 10, and 17. So, that's it for now! Keep playing lotto. [pauses] You'll thank me later! [the music stops]

Monk:
"You'll thank me later?" That's my line! I say that!

Lt. Disher:
It hurts, doesn't it?

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
[tearing up some fan mail] You know, I might as well flush twenty bucks down the toilet once a week.