Monk, Season 7

[Stottlemeyer and Disher are driving to Douglas Thurman's studio to execute a raid]

Lt. Disher:
Do you, uh, have the warrant?

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
What? You've gotta be kidding! You just had it in your hand! Where is it? [Randy opens the glovebox, and the arrest warrant is behind one of Randy's CDs]

Lt. Disher:
Found it. It was right behind this CD. [shows it for the cameraman] I-I'm in a band; the Randy Disher Project; we do a sort of a jazz-fusion-punk, kind of a rap, kind of a folk-

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Randy, just give him the damn CD!

Lt. Disher:
You guys like music? You're gonna love this. [Randy takes the CD out of the case, and notices something] Whoa. Is that a scratch? You know what, I should probably put it in to see if it works. [He inserts the CD into the car's player, and his song "I Don't Need a Badge" begins to play, much to Stottlemeyer's annoyance] [cuts to a SWAT team - all of them armed with Heckler & Koch MP5A3 assault rifles - along with Stottlemeyer and Disher (both of them wearing Kevlar vests and carrying their own weapons) standing outside the photo studio's front door]

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Doug Thurman! SFPD! [The first officer breaches the door with a battering ram, and the SWATs enter their room with their guns drawn]

First SWAT Officer:
Clear! [They go into the next room] Clear!

[In the main room of the studio, they find an eerie shrine to Cassandre Rank, Barbara McFarland, and Miranda Terhume, Thurman's three victims. Novak's camera zooms in to show that each victim's respective lipstick has been smeared onto their photo]

Lt. Disher:
Captain! [Stottlemeyer comes in]

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
Is that lipstick? That's good enough.

Lt. Disher:
I guess that clinches it. This guy's definitely the Cosmetic Assassin.

First SWAT Officer:
The what?

Lt. Disher:
Cosmetic Assassin. That's what we're calling him.

Capt. Stottlemeyer' Maybe you'd like to hear what we're calling you. [leaves the room]

[cuts to Stottlemeyer and Disher being interviewed in Stottlemeyer's office]

Lt. Disher:
That was probably the low point, because we had that creep in handcuffs the day before.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
We never should've let him go. But the law's the law: insufficient evidence.

Lt. Disher:
We put out a statewide APB on him.

Capt. Stottlemeyer:
But we were too late.