Monty Python's Flying Circus, Series 2

Man:
Good morning, I'd care to purchase a chicken, please.

Vendor:
Don't come here with that posh talk, you nasty, stuck-up twit!

Man:
I beg your pardon?

Vendor:
A chicken, sir? Certainly. Here we are.

Man:
Thank you. And how much does that come to per pound, my good fellow?

Vendor:
Per pound, you slimy trollop? What kind of a ponce are you?

Man:
I'm sorry?

Vendor:
Four and six a pound, sir. Nice and ready for roasting.

Man:
I see. And I'd care to purchase some stuffing in addition, please.

Vendor:
Use your own, you great poofy poll-nagger!

Man:
What?

Vendor:
Certainly, sir, some stuffing.

Man:
Oh, thank you.

Vendor:
Oh, "thank you", says the great queen, like a la-di-da pooftah!

Man:
I beg your pardon?

Vendor:
That's alright, sir, call again!

Man:
Excuse me...

Vendor:
What is it now, you great pillock?!

Man:
I can't help but notice that you insult me, and then you're polite to me, alternately.

Vendor:
Oh, I'm terribly sorry to hear that, sir!

Man:
Oh, that's all right. It doesn't really matter.

Vendor:
Tough titty if it did, you nasty, spotted prancer!