Monty Python's Flying Circus, Series 3

Monty Python's Flying Circus (1969-1974) was a British sketch comedy television show. more »

Badger:
There's a bomb onboard this plane, and I'll tell you where it is for a thousand pounds.

Second Pilot:
I don't believe you.

Badger:
If you don't tell me where the bomb is... If I don't give you the money... Unless you give me the bomb...

Stewardess:
The money.

Badger:
The bomb, thank you pretty lady - the bomb will explode, killing everybody.

Second Pilot:
Including you.

Badger:
[pause] I'll tell you where it is for a pound.

Second Pilot:
Here's a pound.

Badger:
I don't want Scottish money. They've got the numbers. It can be traced.

Second Pilot:
One English pound. Now where's the bomb?

Badger:
I can't remember.

Second Pilot:
You've forgotten.

Badger:
Aye, you'd better have your pound back. Oh... [rubs it] fingerprints.

First Pilot:
Now where's the bomb?

Badger:
Ah, wait a tic, wait a tic. Er, my first is in Glasgow but not in Spain, my second is in steamer but not in train, my whole is in the luggage compartment on the plane... I'll tell you where the bomb is for a pound.

Second Pilot:
It's in the luggage compartment.

Badger:
Right. Here's your pound.

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