Monty Python's Flying Circus, Series 4

Mother:
What have you got now?

Chris:
I bought an ant, mother.

Mother:
What d'you want one of them for! I'm not going to clean it out. You said you'd clean the tiger out, but do you? No, I suppose you've lost interest in it now. Now it'll be ant ant ant for a couple of days, then all of a sudden, 'oh, mum, I've bought a sloth' or some other odd-toed ungulate like a tapir.

Chris:
It's really different this time, mum. I'm really going to look after this ant.

Mother:
That's what you said about the sperm whale... now your papa's having to use it as a garage.

Chris:
Well, you didn't feed it properly.

Mother:
Where are we going to get 44 tons of plankton from every morning? Your dad was dead vexed about that. They thought he was mad in the deli.

Chris:
Well at least he's got a free garage.

Mother:
That's no good to him... his Hillman smells all fishy. [growl from the tiger] Oh blimey, that's the tiger. He'll want his mandies.

Chris:
Are you giving that tiger drugs?

Mother:
'Course I'm giving it drugs!

Chris:
It's illegal.

Mother:
You try telling that to the tiger.

Chris:
I think it's dangerous.

Mother:
Listen, before he started fixing, he used to get through four Jehovah's witnesses a day. And he used to eat all of them, except the pamphlets.

Chris:
Well, he's not dim.