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Mystery Science Theater 3000, Season 1

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988-1999) is an American TV show that mocks bad movies by riffing on their strange characters, absurd settings, and silly plot twists, interspersing erudite cultural quips with schoolboy jokes and general zaniness. The… more »

[Dr. Almada voices-over scenes of the doomed romance between Aztec maiden Xochi and warrior Popoca.]

Dr. Almada:
So they decided to run away, even though it was her sacred duty to preserve her maidenhood and be sacrificed to the god Tezcatlipoca.

Joel [as Dr. Almada]:
The god of decaffeinated coffee.

Dr. Almada:
They were discovered by the tribal priests.

[A priest receives a steaming bowl, turning to the restrained Popoca to force-feed him.]

Servo [as Dr. Almada]:
They prepared hearty soups and broths and forced them on their guests, for they truly knew how to handle a hungry man.

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