Mystery Science Theater 3000, Season 8

[The opening credits show a man's face decaying into a zombie's face.]

Mike:
The shroud of David Schwimmer.

. . .

Servo:
Face is the result of slash and burn shaving.

Mike [as zombie]:
You'd tell me if my face was disintergrating, right?

Servo:
He's turning into a brisket.

Crow:
It's a portrait of Bob Dole's inner child.

. . .

Crow:
He's turning into a seed sculpture from the state fair.

. . .

Crow:
Tom Petty in the morning.

. . .

Crow:
You know, seaweed makes a perfectly acceptible toupee.

[Cut to a toy clown laughing.]

Mike:
Ah, good old-fashioned nightmare fuel.