Mystery Science Theater 3000, Season 8

[In the middle of a war, after Mrs. Forrester is hit.]

Mrs. Forrester:
(panting) Just what I need!

Bobo:
Medic! Medic!

Observer:
[enter] Here I am!

Mrs. Forrester:
Brain Guy? What the hell is...your...deal?

Observer:
My race is pacifist and does not believe in war. We only kill out of personal spite. We will, however, administer humanitarian aide. (begins attending to Forrester's wound)

Mrs. Forrester:
...what's that smell?!

Observer:
Oh! Mustard gas!

Mrs. Forrester:
Mustard Gas! Get the masks!

Bobo:
Oh, no, that's just me; I ate a whole jar of popnids with my knishes for lunch.

Observer:
Good god, ape...

Mrs. Forrester:
That's it, we're pulling out!

[Clanking sound is heard]

Observer:
Hand grenade!

Bobo:
Grenade! I'll save you! [throws Observer to the ground; the grenade goes off right near him]

Mrs. Forrester:
Bobo, Brain Guy, quit farting around and get in the van! Okay, Nelson, we need air support an we need it fast!

Observer:
[looks up] It's a good thing I don't have a body... [flops back down]

[Back on the SOL, Mike Nelson is pouring baking soda into a bomb casing while Crow and Tom Servo watch on]

Mike Nelson:
Sure, no problem; I used to make these babies in junior high school, out of vinegar and baking soda...

Crow:
I-is that too much baking soda, Mike, or-

Mike:
[ignoring Crow] ...and high school, now that I think of it. And college, too. Got...got expelled for that...

Tom Servo:
D-definitely too much baking soda, Mike.

Crow:
Just a little too much.

[Crow makes a small "Whoa..." as Mike pulls out a much larger box of baking soda and filling the bomb casing with it]

Mike:
And for that temp job I worked on, too...until that one guy in receiving got me fired...

Crow:
Heh, Mike, Mike, honey...the baking soda-

Mike:
[again ignoring Crow]It was just a little prank, but he had to rat out on me, didn't he? Oh, well, I guess some people are just like that...

Tom Servo:
So! Bombs away, Mike!

Crow:
Okay, Mike! Bombs away!

Mike:
Oh! Right... [Mikes walks away with the bomb as Crow and Tom Servo cheer]

Crow:
Bombs away, Mike!

Tom Servo:
Bombs away! [to Crow] Hey, I heard you can make a bazooka out of PVC tubing and a used diaper.

Crow:
Is that so?

[Mike reenters without the bomb]

Crow:
Okay, okay! Hee-hee-hee...

Mike:
There you go, Mrs. Forrester, a little distraction...

Crow:
A little distraction!

[Mike and the bots laugh, and then a huge explosion goes off, knocking the bots off Mike's workstation.]

Crow:
[gets back up] Okay...few things, Mike. First, well, you blew up another planet, obviously; what's that, three for you now?

Tom Servo:
Think so...

Crow:
Second, uh-ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR STUPID, ROTTED SKULL, YOU DUMB MAN?!