Mystery Science Theater 3000, Season 8

[During the long end credits, generic 80s music is playing]

Servo:
Okay, okay Mike, be honest with us. This music kind of really gets your blood going?

Crow:
Yeah Mike, this is your music done by your people, so I blame you for this entire movie.

Servo:
Yeah, it's just like you to make a movie like this. Geez Mike!

Mike:
Hey, I hated it too! What're you picking on me for?

Crow:
Well, you were a young guy during the '80s, weren't you? This is your world, admit it.

Mike:
Uhhh...

[The music slows down to a power ballad style]

Crow:
Okay, now this. This here is the kind of music you get all weepy at at the end of a drunken Friday night, sitting there with your hair all feathered, scarfing down uh, cold potato skins.

Servo:
Ahh, your attempt to get little Susie what's-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended in humiliating rejection. So you sit there all mushy and sentimental, reciting to yourself the words to some song by Night Ranger. You're pathetic.

Crow:
Yeah, now maybe one homely girl feels sorry for you for a second, but then she sees how stinking drunk you are and gets disgusted.

Servo:
And, and maybe the first chair trombone player from the high school band comes by you know, and he takes pity on you, tries to drive you home and all. Oh but no, Mike! You wanna swerve home in your cherried-out Dodge Charger!

Crow:
Yeah, you wind up wrestling for your keys with the guy, and he drops you - with one punch - and he leaves. And you lie there knowing you got your butt kicked by the leader of the high school band!

Servo:
You're pathetic.

Crow:
You and your '80s!

Servo:
Your precious '80s!

Crow:
You know it would've continued to be the '70s if not for you!

Servo:
Yeah!

Mike:
All right, all right, that's it, that tears it!

[Mike attacks Crow and the three begin fighting on the floor]

Crow:
You want a piece of me! It's go time, '80s man!

Servo:
Come on cool-breeze! Ow owie ow don't!

[After a while Mike sits up]

Mike:
Wait, wait you guys, wait, this isn't us man.

[Pause of a second]

Servo:
Yes it is, you hair-feathering freak! Get him!

Crow:
No, no, Servo, he's right, he's right. This movie has us turning on each other! It won't end! These credits just won't end! [sobbing]

Servo:
[sobbing] It's just like the stupid '80s, they never ended either!

Mike:
No no, actually they did end Tom, there there, it's okay. See, see there's the copyright, that means it's over.

Servo:
[sobbing] I'm sorry, Mike!

Crow:
[sobbing] Sorry, Mike!

Mike:
It's all over, you guys. I'm sorry too.