My So-Called Life, Season 1

Student:
So why are you here? You the new substitute?

Mr. Racine:
Why am I here? Yeah, good question. I'm the new substitute, yes. I'm here quite simply to get paid. Assuming all of you can read and write, I don't perceive any emergency situation. That's all. Continue wasting your lives. [he pulls a folded newspaper out of his knapsack]

Sharon:
So, um...are we like, dismissed?

Mr. Racine:
Do you want to be dismissed?

Sharon:
No, you just said that...you just said that was all you had to say, so...

Mr. Racine:
I will be here for the next forty-seven minutes. Whether you will also be here for that time is, to be candid, your decision.

Jordan:
What's the catch?

Mr. Racine:
No catch. If you don't want to be here, go. I'm not gonna stop you. [Jordan immediately climbs out of his desk and heads for the door] Well, you know, there is just, you know, one catch. We will be discussing you in your absence, but you know, if you don't mind that...

Jordan:
Yeah, right.

Mr. Racine:
Oh, it's no joke. I have no lesson planned. Trashing you in your absence will help, uh, pass the time. Right? It could, uh, possibly be educational as well.

Angela:
So what are we supposed to do?

[Jordan returns to his seat]

Mr. Racine:
Ah, I've known you all of five minutes and you want me to tell you what you're supposed to do? Fine. Follow your hearts and veer away from heroin.

Angela:
[laughs] No, I meant in the next forty-seven minutes.

Mr. Racine:
I know what you meant, that was sarcasm.