NCIS, Season 7

Tony:
Fruit of the month might be good. Maybe a foot massager.

McGee:
Tony, I never pegged you as a catalog shopper.

Tony:
Well, that's because I'm not, tiny Tim, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I took these from my neighbor's doorstep.

Ziva:
You stole them?

Tony:
The doorstep is considered a common area. I would never steal mail, that's a federal offense. Oh! Hold the phone Malone! A little bit of lingerie! Nice! What do you get for the shrew who has everything?

Ziva:
Is this for the Secret Santa?

Tony:
How did I end up with Dolores Brahmstead from Human Resources? She's a miserable grinch of a woman.

McGee:
I can't argue with you there. I once wished her a Happy Valentine's Day and she claimed sexual harassment.

Tony:
Have you ever seen her smile?

McGee:
[sarcastically] No.

Ziva:
Stop it both of you! She is a single, middle aged, lonely woman. Have some compassion!

Tony:
It must be tough, living up there on Mount Crumpet. Scheming to take Christmas away from poor Cindy Loo Who.