Parks and Recreation, Season 4

Tammy Zero:
It's time to settle this.

Tammy One:
Ah, an old fashioned prairie drink-off.

[Tammy Zero opens a jug of alcohol]

April:
Ugh, what's in that jug? It smells like jet fuel!

Ron:
That's Swanson family mash liquor. Made from the finest corn ever grown on American soil. It's only legal use is to strip varnish off of speed boats.

Tammy Zero:
If you win, he's all yours, and if I win, I bring him back to the farm for good.

Leslie:
Wait, what? That wasn't the deal!

Tammy One:
Pour it. I'm thirsty.

Leslie:
Pour me one too, then. Let me in here! I'm gonna join you and if I win, Ron stays here with us.

Ron:
Leslie, no, don't drink that. We use it to burn warts off of the mules!

[Leslie and the Tammys take a shot of the liquor]

Leslie:
...POISON! I made a mistake. I made a mistake.