Parks and Recreation, Season 5
Ron:
[fielding different questions] The next thing you'll want to do is ditch the terrier and get yourself a proper dog. Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless. Come to the Gala. Next caller.
Grapes of Wrath, chocolate-chip ice cream, and Johnny Cash.
Don't trust big banks or small banks. Banks are ponzi schemes run by morons.
Your house isn't haunted. You're lonely.
Whatever happened to, "Hey, I have some apples. Would you like to buy them?" "Yes, thank you." That's as complicated as it should be to open a business in this country.
I've seen three movies in my life:
Bridge on the River Kwai, Patton, and Herbie Fully Loaded. My girlfriend's kids love it. It's pretty funny. Next caller.
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