Peep Show, Series 4

Jez:
Let me go in that prayer bucket.

Mark:
Prayer bucket?... [looking round] Jeremy, that's just a bucket.

Jez:
Alright, I'm gonna creep up to the bucket...

Mark:
No, you can't move!

Jez:
Mark, I can't hold it in any longer! I'm busting!

Mark:
Well, if you really can't hold it in, I guess you'll just have to...piss yourself.

Jez:
You're ordering me to piss myself?

Mark:
Yes, if you have to go, piss yourself.

Jez:
Is this what it's come to?

Mark:
Yes, and do it quietly!

Jez:
And what shall I do after I piss myself? F*** myself? Eat myself? [Jez begins pissing himself]

Mark:
Are you going already?

Jez:
Yes, I'm so pathetic, as soon as you ordered me to piss myself I started the procedure. See what you've done? You've ground down my sense of self worth over the years, I hope you're happy!

Mark:
When are you going to stop?

Jez:
Not for a bit.

Mark:
Jeremy, stop! It's going down the crack!

Jez:
Oh piss yourself, stop pissing yourself, it's not that easy Mark, the flood gates are open!

Mark:
I'm ordering you to stop!

Jez:
You're being a real dick about this, aren't you?!?!