QI, Series Three [C]

[discussing the luffa]

Sean Lock:
If you're a nun...

Stephen Fry:
[appalled] Oh no, don't go there.

Sean Lock:
[grinning] I didn't say anything!

Stephen Fry:
Oh please.

Sean Lock:
It's obviously a reason that in Victorian bathrooms they had articles like that, it's a huge excuse for sexual jollities, isn't it? [gestures] "Oh no, I use it for my back!" It would feel like, you know, like sometimes if you sit on your hand, and you feel like someone else is doing it, it would feel like someone with a stump is playing with it. [makes provocative wagging gesture]

Stephen Fry:
Mummy, make the nasty man go away... Very odd.

[Alan makes bashing gestures with luffa]

Stephen Fry:
No! Give me that luffa.

Alan Davies:
Now you want it.

Stephen Fry:
That's going in the art cupboard and you're going in the naughty corner.

Rich Hall:
It's going in your penis tin isn't it?

Stephen Fry:
You are very bad children indeed.