Red Dwarf, Series X

Lister:
Look, so some stupid people did some stupid things in your name. It's not your fault. You make a lot of people happy. I mean, look at me: I presumed that throughout history, all famous people were amazing. And then I met you! And I realised they're not. In fact you're a bit of a knob. Just like me. Which means that I'm okay.

Jesus:
Yeah, I don't wanna be me. I don't wanna walk down the street and have people say 'ooh, look there's the Jesus of Caesarea, the guy who caused all the wars!'

Rimmer:
Jesus of Caesarea? You mean Jesus of Nazareth.

Jesus:
[incredulous] Jesus of Caesarea? Son of Rachel the Fornicator, Samuel the Chicken Stealer.

Lister:
Samuel the Chicken Stealer?

Jesus:
He stole them, not me. Take it up with him. I'm always having to leg it because of him.

Rimmer:
Erm, is Jesus quite a popular name around here?

Jesus:
Yeah, there's a few of us. There's Jesus, son of John with a funny nose.... Jesus, son of Luke, he wraps plant leaves around the feet of horses, about 70 of us at the last census.

[The Dwarfers look utterly defeated]

Jesus:
Does this mean I'm not the son of God?

[Lister nods]

Jesus:
Oh, bugger.