Rescue Me, Season 2

Lou:
[about Janet] She's either the world's greatest actress or she's on drugs.

Tommy:
What I can't be funny?

Lou:
Not to her. Not in years. Unless of course it's a brain tumor. But you wanna know somethin' with all the shit that's gone down between the two of ya in the last five years let alone for her to be laughin' at your jokes, it's gotta be a tumor the size of a goddamn grapefruit.

Tommy:
I don't think it's a tumor, okay?

Lou:
Well, then we have option number three.

Tommy:
Which is what?

Lou:
Goof balls.

Tommy:
Goof balls?

Lou:
Pills. They have pills for everything now. Stop smoking, pay attention, blah blah blah. I bet my right nut that she's one of those brand new, I hate my husband, I hate my life, my vagina hurts, please just take it all away that kinda thing. Take two a day and not only is your asshole husband funny but you might wanna bang his lying, deceitful, cheatin' little brains out. No offense, Tommy.

Tommy:
None taken.