Rescue Me, Season 5

Black Shawn:
You and Tommy are tight, right?

Lou:
Well, if you mean, we're close, then yeah. In terms of actual tightness, I can only speak for myself.

Black Shawn:
So if Tommy were to find out that one of the guy's on the crew was doin' somethin' behind his back that he might not be--

Lou:
Oh my God, you're sleeping with Colleen.

Black Shawn:
How'd you know?

Lou:
I'm right?

Black Shawn:
So is that bad?

Lou:
It-- It could only be worse if you were banging Katy. Tell me you're not banging Katy.

Black Shawn:
Of course not. I'm not banging either one of them.

Lou:
Wait a minute, you just said you were sleeping with Colleen.

Black Shawn:
I am.

Lou:
So?

Black Shawn:
See, we're sleeping together but we're not like, y'know-- [makes a motion with his hand]

Lou:
So you're not-- [makes a sex noise]

Black Shawn:
No, no, no. And if we ever do, I pray it won't look or sound anything like that.

Lou:
So, what's the deal? Tommy's gonna kill you anyway, for just seeing her, you might as well get a little piece before you go.

Black Shawn:
Those days for me are over.

Lou:
What getting laid days?

Black Shawn:
Listen, Lou, there's somethin' that you need to know about your man, Shawn, I've tapped plenty of asses in my day, good ass, and usually pretty quick. The quicker I tap it, the quicker I'm out the door. I'm looking for a real relationship here. You know, I want the sex to have value.

Lou:
Well, your life's on the line, that's valuable.

Black Shawn:
Come on, you mean to tell me that you've never had a relationship where you waited to have sex?

Lou:
Not on purpose.

Black Shawn:
Well, this is on purpose. The next ass I tap, is the ass I marry.

Lou:
Oh, yeah, that's sweet. I'd like to see that on a sampler. But I would leave Tommy out of it, it's gonna be really hard to tap that ass from beyond the grave.