Rescue Me, Season 5

Tommy:
[about Colleen and Shawn waiting to have sex] She's not gettin' married, I'm tellin' you that. How did we go wrong? We purposefully raised her the wrong way, as a lapsed Catholic so now she enjoying herself on birth control, bangin' her brains out, but now she wants to reclaim her virginity and wait to have sex 'til she gets married. My daughter turned Amish on me, how's that possible? She's not gettin' married, she's not gonna end up like her mom, I'm tellin' 'ya.

Lou:
Wh- What do you mean? Gorgeous, 40, and angry? She's Irish, she's gonna end up angry no matter what.

Tommy:
She's not gettin' married, I'm tellin' 'ya. Too young!

Lou:
Tommy, you keep that act up, she's gonna get married even sooner.

Tommy:
I'm gonna tell 'ya what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna talk to her, have a conversation with her, and she's gonna end up having sex with him, okay? She's gonna have lots of sex with him, she's gonna have so much sex, that it's gonna turn into what sex is supposed to be: Boring, monotonous chore, just like it is for everyone else who's in a long-term relationship, and then he's gonna get bored, and then he's gonna leave, and then we're all set, and the marriage is off.

Lou:
Right. So lemme get this start, you're gonna have a conversation with your teenage daughter, telling her to have sex with her boyfriend?

Tommy:
Yes, I am.

Lou:
Can I sit in on that conversation? Because it's gonna be so creepy, it's gonna reset the high end of my creep-meter for the rest of my life.