Rescue Me, Season 5

Sean:
I'm so full of shit now, really

Lou:
Finally, a moment of self-awareness

Sean:
No, seriously, I haven't taken a shit in like five days. I'm really getting backed up. I feel like I have a shit turduckin sitting in my colon.

Mikey:
What's a turduckin dude? I mean I get the turd part, but -

Lou:
Fancy poultry thing. It's a chicken jammed inside a duck jammed inside a turkey.

Sean:
Yeah, except in my case it's a shit jammed inside a bigger shit jammed inside a really big shit.

Tommy:
Okay, never thought I'd say this, but can we go back to the twins?

Lou:
Alright, here's my theory: I think there's some guy with this super twin producing sperm, running around Hollywood impregnating all these broads.

Sean:
Who? Who is it?

Tommy:
Here's one way to find him, look for a guy with four balls.

Mikey:
Four balls, how do you think he deals with the chaffing issues?

Lou:
Well, I have another theory and that theory involves fact that I think this guy put some of the celebrity baby money into design and construction of the special ball harness.

Sean:
Oooh, like a basket.

Franco:
No, more like a cradle.

Tommy:
Like a ball hammock.

Lou:
Ahh!

Tommy:
And with that gentlemen, I bid you adieu.