Robot Chicken, Season 3

[On the ice pond, everyone is skating. Snoopy tosses Linus into a tree, a la A Charlie Brown Christmas.]

Franklin:
Oh no! We're late for Christmas play rehearsal!

Frieda:
Don't worry. Charlie Brown's in charge. We can just ignore him and dance repetitively.

Kid:
I love dancing repetitively!

[All kids leave. Linus is left under the tree until nightfall when a unknown person (we are looking from their POV) approaches him. Linus wakes up and finds that he is tied to a bed by his blanket. Sally is by his side.]

Sally:
Linus! You're awake!

Linus:
Uhhhh, why am I tied up?

Sally:
Because you're going to write me the love letter I always wanted!

Linus:
Love letter? I need to go to a hospital!

Sally:
I always wanted to be a nurse! They have such pretty white shoes! (leaves)

Linus:
Things look bad for ol' Linus.

[Outside of Snoopy's dog house]

Charlie Brown:
Snoopy, have you seen Linus? He was supposed to walk me to chemo… Can you help me find him?

[Snoopy nods, jumps behind the dog house and reemerges as Batman with Woodstock as Robin. A montage ensues with Snoopy and Woodstock parodying the Batman & Robin TV show introduction. Back in reality, Snoopy is seen on top of his dog house punching air.]

Charlie Brown:
*sigh* Good grief.

[Inside]

Sally:
I made snowflake soup! I know how much you like catching snowflakes on your tongue.

Linus:
So basically you made me a bowl of hot water? [Doorbell rings. Sally runs to answer the door, but accidentally tosses the bowl of hot water on Linus' lap.] Ahhhh!

[Front door. Sally opens the door and finds Snoopy as Batman standing on the step, but mistakes him for…]

Sally:
Val Kilmer? [Snoopy shakes his head no.] Heeeey, you're my brother's dog! [Snoopy points to the tree where Sally snatched up Linus, and follows the tracks that lead up to the doorstep.] I shoulda known you'd figure it out. You're always so snoopy. Oh heeeey! Snoopy! That's your name! It all makes sense now!

[Sally and Snoopy laugh for a second, until Sally brutally beats Snoopy with a shovel and drags him inside. Sally dumps Snoopy's dead body down into the cellar, a la Misery. In Linus' room, he is writing on paper with a seemingly free hand.]

Linus:
Oh my God! They just murdered Val Kilmer!

Sally:
Where's my love letter, Sweet Babboo? [picks up and reads the letter] This isn't a love letter! It's a cry for help! Did you think I'd let you mail it?!

Linus:
But Sally, it's Christmas!

Sally:
You're right! I almost forgot! [brings in a spikey old Christmas tree, very similar to the one from A Charlie Brown Christmas, and places it between Linus' ankles.] Does this tree look sturdy enough?

Linus:
Uhhh, f-for what? [Sally takes a hammer and breaks Linus' ankle on the tree, a la Misery.] SCHUUUUUUUULZ!!!

[Later, Linus has his ankles wrapped in gauze and he finishes the "love letter."]

Linus:
*sigh* It's done.

Sally:
Really?! Can I read it? [reading the letter:] "Dear Sally, see the words on this page? Please keep your eyes on them so you don't notice the thing I'm about to do." [as Sally is reading the letter, Linus unties himself and prepares to strangle Sally.] Wow! I'm hu-

[Linus comes from behind and begins to strangle Sally as she gasps for air, each time Linus tightening the blanket's hold on her throat.]

Linus:
(as Sally begins to lose consciousness) Shhh, shhh. It's almost over. Shhh.

[Sally loses consciousness. Linus releases his grip and lets her fall to the floor. Charlie Brown enters.]

Charlie Brown:
Linus! Thank goodness! I've been looking everywhere for you!

Linus:
I WAS IN YOUR HOUSE, YOU BLOCKHEAD!

Charlie Brown:
Good grief! I can't do anything right! Even my sister's a psycho!

Linus:
I never thought she was that bad. She wasn't that bad at all, really. Maybe she just needed a little love. [Sally regains consciousness, gasping for air, but Linus smashes a lamp over her head, killing her.] By the way, Val Kilmer's dead.