Robin Hood, Series 2 (2007)

Robin:
Right, we need to trade Daniel and the black diamonds in open space. And that's here. [he points on the map of the village that they've built on the table] So when the Sheriff has the diamonds, and we have Daniel back safely...then we can strike.

Allan:
You can't just nick 'em back though. Well he'll have the place surrounded, won't he? You might as well walk in with your hands in the air saying "Shoot me".

Little John:
We could destroy them.

Robin:
Well we'll have to.

Djaq:
We'll need something that burns quickly.

Mark:
Pitch.

Allan:
What about straw?

Djaq:
[shakes her head] Mmm.

Robin:
Straw's fast but it's not hot enough.

Mark:
Pitch.

Little John:
What about wood?

Robin:
Wood's hot but it's, it's not quick enough.

Mark:
Pitch. Fast burning and hot.

Robin:
[Smiling and pointing at Mark] Pitch! Good thinking, Mark!

[Little John smiles and ruffles Mark's hair]

Will:
I could make a new box, choose the right wood - something thin, could line it with pitch, carry the black diamonds in that to the Sheriff and well you could shoot it, Robin with a flaming arrow.

Djaq:
And the rocks will explode.

Robin:
Good idea, Will. We'll test it in the morning.

Mark:
Much?

Much:
Hmm?

Mark:
Is this rat?

[The gang and the boys laugh. Will walks over to Mark and ruffles his hair]

Much:
It's chicken.

Mark:
I can't see any feathers.

Will:
No, and we haven't seen any squirrels.

Much:
Look, I don't know if any of you have noticed, but I have to do everything you all do and keep the larder stocked! So, if any of you want to run ragged around the forest trying to catch this massive animal, then you can be the servant!

[The gang and the boys continue to laugh - Mark snorts]