Sam & Cat, Season 1

(Last lines of the series)

(In Nona's apartment)

Sam:
Hey, Nona, what goes... Hey. Em- What are you doing?

Nona:
Well, I'm getting ready to go back to Elderly Acres.

Sam:
What? No! What? No. You can't leave! Well, come on! What's for dinner? I mean, let's go, right? Mac and cheese and cheese and cheese and cheese, huh?

Nona:
I got a phone call. I can go back now. The funk mites are gone.

Sam:
Well, that's great but--

Nona:
And Cat's coming home tonight, and she's going to need her bed back.

Sam:
But... but I don't want you to leave!

Nona:
Oh, honey, you'll be all right.

Sam:
(Sobs) No, I won't!

Nona:
Sam.

(Pearphone rings)

Nona:
I think that's your phone ringing.

Sam:
(Answers Pearphone) Who is it?

Dice:
(In Phoenix) Sam?

Sam:
(In LA) What do you want?

Dice:
(In Phoenix) I got good news and bad news.

Sam:
(In LA) What?

Dice:
(In Phoenix) Well, I got the cover of the magazine.

Sam:
(In LA) Wow, yeah, great. What's the bad news?

Dice:
(In Phoenix) One of the other boys is being taken to a scalp hospital.

Sam:
(In LA) That's it?

Dice:
(In Phoenix) No. Cat's being arrested.

(The police puts handcuffs on Cat)

Cat:
I mean, it really looks like a wig.

Sam:
(In LA) Wait, Cat was really arrested?

Dice:
(In Phoenix) Yes. You got to get Nona to come to Arizona and bail her out or else Cat's going to be in jail for two weeks.

Sam:
(In LA) Okay, I'll tell Nona. Bye.

Dice:
(In Phoenix) Bye.

Nona:
(In LA) Who was that?

Sam:
Oh, that was Dice and Cat.

Nona:
Oh, are they coming back here?

Sam:
No.

Nona:
What's going on?

Sam:
(Lies) They decide to stay in Phoenix for two more weeks, so Cat says you should stay here and take care of me until she gets back.

Nona:
Really?

Sam:
I promise.

Nona:
Well, I guess I better start dinner, then. (Laughs)

Sam:
Yep. Yes, you should.

(Sam starts lying on the couch.)