Saturday Night Live, Season 32

Oprah (Maya Rudolph):
(to Darfur refugee) Let's talk about this, Olessi. Why do you think things are going badly?

Olessi Oneweeja (Kenan Thompson):
Well, as you may or may not know, this region is four years into a brutal conflict which has claimed over 200,000 lives, the UN has refused to classify the conflict as a genocide, and while there is a current ceasefire, I don't think anyone thinks it's permanent.

Oprah and Rhonda Byrne (Amy Poehler):
Very negative thinking, very negative.

Oprah:
Secret!

Rhonda:
Olessi, I know this is hard for you to hear, but your outlook is what's hurting you.

Olessi:
No, I think it's the Janjaweed.

Rhonda:
No, it's you!

Oprah:
Olessi, did you get the copy of The Secret we sent?

Olessi:
Yes.

Oprah:
And? Did you read it?

Olessi:
No.

Rhonda:
Why not?

Olessi:
Because I ate it.

Oprah:
Well, digest every word.