Sherlock, Series 2

Irene Adler:
D'you know the big problem with a disguise, Mr. Holmes? However hard you try, it's always a self-portrait.

Sherlock Holmes:
You think I'm a vicar with a bleeding face?

Irene Adler:
I think you're damaged, delusional and believe in a higher power. In your case, it's yourself. And somebody loves you... Oh, if I had to punch that face,[Looks at John] I'd avoid your nose and teeth too.

John Watson:
[Laughs] Could you put something on please, anything at all... a napkin?

Irene Adler:
Why? Are you feeling exposed?

Sherlock Holmes:
I don't think John knows where to look. [Stands up and offers coat to Irene]

Irene Adler:
No, I think he knows exactly where.[Stands in front of John] I'm not sure about you.[Takes coat from Sherlock]

Sherlock Holmes:
If I were to look at naked women I'd borrow John's laptop.

John Watson:
You do borrow my laptop.

Sherlock Holmes:
I confiscate it.